The Five

00:07 Hello, everyone. I'm Jillian Turner, along with Kellyanne Conway, Harold Ford Jr., Jesse Waters, and Greg Gutfeld. It is 5 o'clock here in New York City. This is The Five. 00:22 Well, some 2028 Dem hopefuls are reading the writing on the wall and seeing exactly where the party is headed. Former VP Kamala Harris, Gavin Newsom, Pete Buttigieg, all rushing to get behind mission Senate candidate Abdul El-Sayed after his narrow victory this week. California governor is heading to the Great Lakes state tomorrow with talk of a joint rally now in the works. And Harris formally endorsing El-Sayed this morning, speaking in New Orleans to children about the importance of the upcoming midterms and beyond. Listen. 00:54 We should think about is what do we want the next two years to look like? What do we want the next four years to look like? What do we want the next six years to look like in our lives? And so we have to be active. And one of the ways with the midterms coming up is to be active in making sure we get out the vote. 01:16 Despite the bitter race, even El Sayed's former rivals are now hopping on the bandwagon. Mallory McMorrow and Haley Stevens are racking them up. 01:26 You know, we did the unity deal. We just showed them the Michigan way. And that's what we're going to show you in November. 01:32 Are we going more progressive? Is it outsiders? Is it establishment? Is it experience? 01:37 The results told me that Michiganders rejected that premise entirely. And we decided to grow the party. 01:46 Some of the old guard are holding firm. James Carville, not impressed by the size of El Sayed's mandate at all. 01:54 The idea that somehow or another this is some giant wave that's knocking everything down in a country, that's just an idiotic Republican press narrative. Come 2028, all of them, we're going to have to go to the mattresses. We're going to have to fight this out. The progress is going to have somebody going to have that person. There's people going to have their people. And fortunately, I think the people who vote in Democratic primaries are going to decide the direction of the party. And I completely trust their judgment. And I think they will choose wisely. 02:24 Jesse, does it surprise you to see the Dem Party establishment bigwigs like Kamala Harris and Gavin Newsom rushing to, I guess, kiss the ring? 02:36 Yeah, like they all came down with Michigan Muslim fever. Abdul, Abdul. It reminds me when Nancy Pelosi wore the African clothes and knelt with the mask for Floyd. Same kind of energy. So the people running for president, you got Newsom, Mayor Pete and Kamala all running for president, all running scared because they don't want to be the next establishment hack that gets whacked by someone like Abdul. Abdul won running against these people. Abdul won because he's not these guys. But I respect Abdul. 03:08 I like the fact that as a devout Muslim, He is accepting of Mayor Pete's lifestyle. I think that's a good thing. Kamala, who's rushing over there right now, he said her campaign was nauseating, blasted her about Hamas. Then Greasy waited until after the election was over to endorse Hamas. Now he's going in. And he's the kind of guy that everybody talks about that can't do anything. So if the establishment joins forces with the commies, it's a suicide pact. 03:38 Because remember what happened with Obamacare, the blowback? He just tinkered with health care and they got slaughtered up and down the ballot, lost so many states. These guys want to take over the entire health care system. Imagine what would happen then or abolish ICE. What happens when Joe Biden abolished the border? Trump landslide. Now they want to abolish ICE. Same thing is going to happen. If you're sitting around with communists and you want to win the presidency, you don't sit next to these guys and say, I'll have what he's having. 04:09 You order for the table like a real man, like a real leader. You call the shots. How does Trump act in primaries? They fly to Mar-a-Lago. They kiss his ring. He chooses who he wants. They shoot up in the polls and then his guys in there and then he gets clout. What are they doing with Newsom and Kamala? They're flying to Michigan. 04:33 What the hell is that about? Abdul should be going to California to meet with them. 04:38 They didn't have to hide Doug because he's Jewish, but that's what should be happening. And they're not doing that. And that tells you that they're so toxic and flaccid that they don't want to have anything to do with this guy. These people just running around in circles. 04:53 Harold, are you buying the Haley Stevens, Abdul El-Sayed unity tour that they're currently putting on? 05:01 You know, this happens first. Good to see you. Good to be back around the table. It is. We see this in campaigns when you have ugly, divisive, you know, partisan campaigns. It happens on both sides. 05:12 I listened to her last night on television and she seemed she seemed genuine. It seems like she wants to ensure that the Michiganders have a Democrat in the Senate. If I'll step back, I think one of the things that Mr. El-Sayed has to understand, the doctor has to understand, is that we're way beyond, I tried to say it yesterday, way beyond personalities in politics, or I should say partisan politics, as people think about whom they're going to elect. I think for Democrats, the discipline has to come very soon, particularly for Dr. El-Sayed and for Troy Jackson in Maine. 05:44 the building an economic agenda, building a plan, being disciplined enough to build a plan that allows people to understand that you're speaking to their anxieties and their concerns and their aspirations. If you do that and you talk about lowering taxes, you talk about ways in which you're going to lower gas prices and bring higher paying jobs to communities, schools that actually teach kids to compete in a new economic system, a system where not only are white collar jobs where they used to be great and guaranteed. You have AI introducing a whole nother level of urgency around how we create jobs in our country. 06:15 But if you choose to pursue a path that says no prisons, no police or defunding the police, no borders, abolishing ICE, supporting Hamas and supporting terrorism, I think you're going to lose. So I listen to my friend James Carvin. I listen to others. I listen to Kamala Harris and Gavin Newsom. If you're going and Pete Buttigieg, if you're going to go there and campaign with them, this should not be a capitulation that we believe that a democratic socialist agenda is what Americans want. If you're not urging these candidates to talk about how they're going to make everyday people's lives better, how they're going to address the concerns of everyday working Americans, how you're going to lower their taxes. 06:55 We're going to find ourselves in November believing that the best thing that happened during the campaign season was August. 07:02 But Kellyanne, it strikes me while listening to Harold lay out a sort of common sense path forward. Right. That's grounded in very realistic aspirations that most people, I think, share in this country. It really underscores. 07:19 how far afield these DSA candidates are from that. They're not talking about better paying jobs for Americans. 07:29 They're talking about the government finding ways to impose jobs. limitations on the wealthy. 07:36 Well, that's the joke about them talking about affordability, Jillian. Their plans, if implemented, if they ever got the presidency, God forbid, if they got a critical mass in the United States Senate before they abolish it, if they actually pass anything, they would make life terribly unaffordable. Look, This country has elected a builder, a very famous builder to be our president. Now we're going to elect people who literally want to tear everything to the ground. That's what they stand for. What Harold just articulated could be articulated by one or two prominent Democrats who have 2020 aspirations if they had the courage to do that. 08:12 And they would stand apart from this crowd. 08:14 I saw Kamala Harris today say she's going to go meet El Syed in Michigan so they can, quote, talk about how to win Michigan. How would they know? Neither one of them ever has. She certainly didn't. He hasn't yet. He barely squeaked through a primary that his polling said he was going to win by double digits. And that's because at the end, people got a little nervous. They said, you know what? This was all fun and games. I'm focused on the messenger. I'm anti-establishment. I want to burn down the system. But these people are dangerous. And fortunately, all the polling says the same thing, which is when you talk to the broader public, people do have hesitations and reservations about socialism. 08:51 Gallup revealed yesterday 30 percent said they couldn't say anything good about it. Another 15 percent said that they could say something good and then couldn't come up with anything when pressed. But I think I think we're also just quickly having the wrong conversation about socialism. 09:05 I think that the Republicans, some of the rank and file, some of the candidates are way too dismissive and they just got their isms. No communism, no socialism. What if we're having the wrong conversation? What if these people are popular because they represent a challenge to the status quo, which Democrats see as suffocating or stale? They represent, they want to uproot the system, which people see as sclerotic. And to the point, they're challenging the establishment. The establishment goes... 09:32 on their hands and knees and begs El-Sayed, who barely won a primary, to figure out how to win the presidency. I feel pretty good as a conservative if that happens. The socialists wanted to, they want to change this country, DSA over USA. And they said, should we do a third party? No, we shouldn't do that. Should we do it through the Republican Party? Can't do that. They went where we have moral weakness. We have ethical softness. They went to the Democratic Party. Because it's porous. 10:03 And they showed their hand. Weak foreign policy, open borders, high taxes, regulating our small businesses, taking away parents' rights, killing babies in the eighth or ninth month in the womb, taking away our guns, you name it. And they saw a weakness and they said, we're going to change this country through the Democratic Party. And that's the key to this. And I think that's going to be the wake up call come the general. 10:24 I mean, the Dems to that point, Greg, always say that, you know, their party is a big tent party. David Hogg, interestingly, now seems to be saying this tent is a far left progressive tent. We're going to try and find some room in it for more moderate Democrats. No guarantees. 10:42 Well, you know, the mistake that Dems made, one of them, is not asking at least the DSA to assimilate because now that gives the DSA the power to demand that they absorb you. There's nothing more authoritarian than a young socialist with a whiff of power because everything to them is on the table. They don't know history. They don't know where it leads and they don't have to. You look at Mayor Pete and Gavin and Kamala – It's all survival positioning. This public alignment buys their temporary safety. 11:14 It gives them access or keeps access to an activist base, a hope that they remain relevant for the next three years. They don't want to look like yesterday's yesterday's underwear. 11:25 I'm saying it. So they're saying I accept the new terms. I will not obstruct your goals, even if they're anti-West and they are anti-West. So do not mistake. And we don't do not mistake this for conviction. It's purely self-preservation. But all they're doing is delaying the reckoning. They won't be eaten first, but they're definitely on the menu. It's just a matter of time. I think the DSA has less respect for their wimps in the Democratic Party than they do for us because we know that we don't buy this crap and we'll fight this because we don't see this as a difference of opinion. 12:01 Socialism and free markets is not a difference of opinion. It's a difference in how you live your life. You know, it's like saying mugging is a difference of opinion. You know, I feel that my wallet is yours, but the mugger disagrees. That's socialism. The Dems think there's a middle ground with a mugger, and there isn't. There is no both sides with this one. You know, in my lifetime, I don't remember the Republicans welcoming people who wish to dismantle the foundations of the country. 12:31 This is new because Dems used to be anti-communist, anti-socialist. They used to understand it, confront it. But recently, in the last 10 years, they've abandoned reality. And reality is nothing but trade-offs. Every action has a benefit and a cost. And socialists don't even address that. And so this is the answer when you fight a socialist. When you get into a debate with them, ask them one question. What is the downside to your demand? They will not give you one. 13:01 Because if they did, it would blow your mind. So instead, they just don't give you one. But honest people, even as a free marketer, I can tell you there is a downside to free markets. There's a downside to everything. Good things have downsides. Socialists will not tell you there's a downside to what they're doing, which tells you it's all downside. It's the scariest thing you'll ever face. 13:27 What does yesterday's underwear look like, though? 13:29 Let me show you. 13:32 All right. With that, we've got to go to break. Coming up next, President Trump is afraid of a third impeachment. If Democrats win back the House, his answer might surprise you. Stick around. 14:07 President Trump brushing off a third impeachment attempt if the Democrats, God forbid, regain power. 14:14 If Democrats do take over the House, it's just going to be investigation mania. You know, they're going to do oversight. They can impeach you again. I mean, do you think they will? 14:22 Well... 14:24 A lot of people are saying I'm one of the greatest presidents ever. They're not saying that, though. But they know. I think the Republicans are too nice, actually. I think the Republicans are much nicer. I think the Republicans are much more gentle than the Democrats. 14:39 And the president also getting brutally honest about the midterm turnout. 14:44 If I don't run, will those people go out and vote? And that's the one thing I can't. I'm going to ask him to. 14:52 But I'm just watching guys like you and your very talented people. 14:57 The question is, will they vote? Because a lot of them are very angry. 15:03 At Republicans, to be honest with you. Why is that? I don't know. I mean, they're angry at Republicans, but they're not angry at me. 15:10 Kellyanne, they're angry at Republicans, but they're not angry at me. 15:13 I love it. Look, when the two women won the governorships in New Jersey and Virginia last November, I'm on Donnie here in New York. I texted the president. I said, we prosper when you're in the Oval. We suffer when you're not on the ballot. I absolutely believe that because that's his coalition. He's the one who expanded it. More Hispanics, more African-Americans, more young people, more women, more union households, more Jewish households, more Catholic households, more independents, you name it. But it's special for him. And I think so many of these candidates, Jesse, believe... that the Trump touch and his endorsement is transferable. 15:46 He's got the connective tissue. They don't show up at rallies like this thousands at a time, tens of thousands at a time with a thousand or so rallies had. This is very special to him, but he will do what he has to do. He's going to spend the money. He does endorse you. He sends out a nice true social post about you. Maybe he'll even come to your district or your state. He does his talent town hall rallies, which help juice up turnout. There's no question the left is energized and enthusiastic this time, not because of any great magic agenda, but because they are the party out of power. 16:18 But I love, love, as the person who was there for the two impeachments, I love, love hearing him almost dare them to impeach him again. These are the jerks who promised America, did everything they could. to put him in the big house, God forbid, and never again have him in the White House. And where is he? Where's his day job? Where is his home, everybody? He's back there. And I love the fact that his AG is about to be Todd Blanche, one of his personal attorneys, who knows how to withstand that kind of slop and that kind of muck. 16:49 But he's also calling them out by saying, you're going to waste a country's time. There's so much for us to do. Jeffries, I'm even willing, Hakeem, I'm even willing to do it with you. If you'll play ball, that probably hurt Hakeem Jeffries. His opponents will raise money off of it. But the president is almost tempting and taunting them. But he's also telling them, stop wasting America's time when there's so much more to do. Is that why he keeps using the third term? 17:12 You don't know why? 17:13 Because people are saying. 17:14 Because you guys go crazy. Yeah, I said you guys. Who's you guys? Reporters? Harold, the impeachment. Will Hakeem be able to hold off the dogs and not impeach? 17:26 I don't know. I hope so. I was not for the first impeachment. I was for the second impeachment of the president after January 6th. But I think Democrats can't, they're not going to win a race, win races in the fall by saying we're going to impeach President Trump. President Trump won in 2016. And I would build on the points that Kellyanne made in the first go-round about you said that the DSA decided to take the Democratic Party. I would argue that President Trump, in a different way, decided to take the Republican Party and make it his, and he did successfully. I think I take a little issue with what the president said about how he says they're angry at the Republicans, but not me. 18:02 either he's not the head of the Republican Party or he is the head, but he is completely detached from him. I think what people are mad at, Jesse, and, again, I hope the president doesn't take this the wrong way, but he gave people two promises. I think he beat Kamala Harris for two primary reasons. First is she was not a great candidate, but his message was I'm going to lower inflation and lower prices and I'm going to get us out of this war. He said he would end the Ukraine war on day one and that we would not find ourselves in wars. I think the American people took him at his word. Here we are now. Prices have not gone back down. The president has not lowered inflation in prices. 18:35 So we've got a tough, tough jobs number today. Three, he's building ballrooms and helipads and starting businesses. And I think people see that. And I think I think to his point, if I were him, I'd be trying to deflect also. But I think it's a hard argument to make to the American people that I know you're mad at the Republicans, but you're not mad at me because if prices were lower and we were not in these wars, I think the Republican numbers would be high. And frankly, so would his numbers are pretty. 19:00 He did run on sealing the border and he did that, Greg. And I give him credit on the main reasons. 19:05 I give you credit. Well, I also have to say, Harold's got a point about the wars and stuff. But you have to look at the context. of what you're up against, which is the Democrats. So what are they doing at the convention? Aren't they having... They're having a Republican convention. 19:20 Good term, yeah. 19:21 Yeah, which is like... September 9th. Have they ever done that before? Democrats have. But the Republicans haven't, Harold. Control yourself, young man. My goodness. Anyway, but they're doing... I think I read that they're doing a socialism... Telethon. Telethon. So... 19:38 This to you, what you were talking about in a block, this could be the first time that millions of young Americans get an actual scoop on the history of an ideology that killed tens of millions of people. And so if so, the Republicans should not be half assed on this. Do what the Dems did on January 6th. Get producers, directors, just blow your mind with this. You know, focus on documented outcomes. If you're going to talk about it, like show the mass death, the chronic shortages, the repressed innovation. The gaps between the utopian promise and the grim reality. 20:11 Soviet Union, China, Cambodia, Cuba, North Korea. Canada. Who could forget Canada? Vermont. 20:20 But think about it. This is not stuff. that you have to talk about. You can show with archival footage, survivor testimony, economic data, interviews with historians, empty shelves in Venezuela, killing fields, the Great Leap Forward, the gulags. 20:37 But the key here, you have to contrast this with the utopian propaganda. You have to show that gap between promise and reality because right now we're going through the promise. We're going through the young people are buying the words and we have to show how similar the words you're hearing today to the propaganda was before. And it always begins with that one thing, an attack on private property. That's where it starts. And we're seeing it in New York City. 21:07 The only way you can achieve material equality in a world of individuals is confiscation of private property. And that can only be done through coercion and a denial of human nature because there's always a variation in talent and preference and effort. 21:23 You have the midterm convention. I'm going, Jillian. 21:27 Oh, good for you. 21:28 Are you going? 21:29 I'll meet you there. Don't wait for me, though. I'll be right behind you. 21:32 Okay. Do you think that's a smart idea, though? Just hammer that home right before the election. 21:36 Probably. I mean, I was thinking while Greg was talking about the appeal of some of these, the promise, he called it, that same Reuters poll that on Monday found that President Trump had a 32 percent approval rating also found that for the first time in like a decade. 21:55 Let me get this straight. For the first time in a decade, voters perceive the Democratic Party as having a better plan for the economy than the Republican Party. 22:04 That really surprised me. So I've been thinking about why that is. And I think it's in the face of, you know, first the Biden administration, now the Trump administration, not really being able to lower prices to the degree that American families are comfortable with. A lot of people, young people especially, are thinking, OK, well, We might as well try and get as much free stuff as we possibly can. Maybe that's, you know, the better of two bad alternatives right now. 22:33 Yep. Free stuff, usually the outcome. Gulags. 22:37 Something that will help Republicans, something that helps Republicans, Democrats. It's going to be hard for independents and even moderate Democrats like me to be enthusiastic for a Democrat who cannot say that Hassan Piker is wrong in talking about 9-11. 22:52 I hate to give Republicans an angle here, but if we can't agree that America was in the right on 9-11, you shouldn't be in politics. Yeah. 23:01 Amen. Coming up next, the Cambridge Con, a DEI professor just caught plagiar-maxing. 23:32 A stunning DEI scandal is erupting across the pond. Cambridge's youngest black professor ever, Jason Arday, resigning amid mounting plagiarism allegations in his academic work and questions surrounding claims he previously made about his athletic and fundraising accomplishments. 23:52 Such claims like he ran 30 marathons in 35 days, raised millions for charity, played semi-pro soccer, and miraculously woke up from a coma after a car accident. This is a busy, busy guy. But the media couldn't get enough of the DEI, darling. And his boss at Cambridge told him he was, quote, the best in the world at what he does. Watch. 24:18 There will be days. I think this is a tokenistic appointment. What are your thoughts on this? 24:22 The board of electors on your interview day were absolutely unanimous. We are so lucky to have you. 24:30 You are the best in the world in terms of the research that you do. 24:35 Well, he's among the best in the world, Jillian, at lying. That's for sure. But I think this is a great example of just how crazy DEI got. 24:47 To me, the worst thing. 24:49 part about this whole thing is the fact that he quit on the day that they launched the investigation, right? That Cambridge announced they're going to investigate him. I mean, that's kind of a tell, right? You don't run from things if you have nothing to hide. 25:08 But the fact that he blames literally everybody and everything else in the world for the accusations against him. At various times throughout this, throughout the years, when he has faced this kind of stuff, he has blamed racist people. He has blamed xenophobic people. He blamed his own professors as an undergrad for his plagiarism. He said part of the reason why he wasn't getting enough supervision And that's, I guess, why he plagiarized, even though he also insists that he did not. 25:40 I'm tracking two things. I want to see if Cambridge follows through with the investigation, even though he's now gone, because I think it's still important. And I'm also looking to see if Simon & Schuster still stands by his memoir, which they are publishing. So far, they say he has added integrity at every step of the way through the writing of this book. 26:04 So two key things to watch where they're going with this. 26:08 So, Jesse, he loved media attention when it was adulation. He doesn't like it when it's suspicion or inquiry. 26:16 And he said, I don't want my resignation to be taken as a, quote, a lack of faith in scholarship. He doesn't even realize it's a lack of faith in him and his harassment. 26:25 Yeah, he didn't do any scholarship. He did actually zero scholarship. This is what happens when you are so desperate for diversity and are so terrified of being called racist that it subverts standards and anything and anyone can get on through. They were looking for the youngest black professor. Well, they just found the dumbest black professor. This guy said he ran 30 marathons in 35 days. That alone tells everybody he's bogus. 26:57 It's physically impossible to do that. Isn't it also funny that universities is literally where common sense goes to die? This is where we get DEI. This is where we get Marxism. This is where we get queer liberation theology, whatever the heck that means. And it also seems like the more prestigious the university, the dumber, more gullible and ridiculous they are. This guy makes Jussie Smollett look like Honest Abe. 27:29 Harold, he's not fabulous. He's a fabulist. But why not do some basic fact-checking, if not on the dissertation and his past plagiarism, on these outlandish claims? Can't we verify if he ran the marathons, if he raised millions for charity, if he woke up from a coma? I mean, why are we not even looking at verifying those facts? 27:47 I agree with you. I think this is really an affront and a... 27:53 assault on the university, how Cambridge didn't have checks and balances. I'm sure people apply for, obviously, admission to the school and apply to teach at the school, and their qualifications either don't add up, don't measure up, or to Jesse's point, are just simply incredulous. How do you run 35 marathons or 30 marathons in 35 days? But even if it's 35 and 30, 30, 35, it's just silly. It makes me, I mean, I'm a proponent of diversity, but these kinds of efforts here, these kind of Incidences here certainly make people and cast down on things. Some of my greatest professors in college, Professor Herman Beavers, Professor Mary Frances Berry in law school, Professor Teddy Shaw and Sally Ann Payton, they not only did it the right way, but they are tenured, accomplished, celebrated scholars. 28:35 And stories like this do nothing but cast a bad light, unfortunately. But I put the fault in place to blame on Cambridge. 28:45 It reflects badly on Jesse's major, which I think was sociology of education, wasn't it? 28:50 That was my minor, Jillian. 28:51 Oh, your minor. 28:52 Did you have this guy? 28:54 It makes him look really bad that he ran two 5Ks in tennis. 28:59 I... 29:01 Love this guy because he did not hide his scam. He didn't have to hide his scam because he knew he was giving the white liberal academic exactly what they needed, a magical minority that they could take credit for. This gave them it. 29:24 Incredible reputational prestige. Look what I have. The youngest black scholar ever. You know that he was autistic and that he didn't speak till he was 12 and he worked 20 hours a day and the remaining four hours he was helping orphans. Oh, he's the perfect black person. I can't believe it. But get this. 29:47 I met him. I brought him here. Me, me, me, me. This was a white person's wet dream. This is why they overlooked the obvious fraud and why they would frame any legitimate skepticism as racism, because they knew that they were complicit and they didn't want to lose the fantasy. DEI is bad, and here's why. It's that incentive structure that prevents any assessment. 30:18 It can only work if you don't look at it. 30:22 And if you dare to look at it, you know, something's going on here, you will be smeared. This is why they delayed scrutiny until non-action was untenable. This thing was going on for a while. Everybody knew, but nobody was going to do it. And now, because they waited, damage is so huge that Students were taught by this guy that wanted to get out of class. They're going to be able to sue or get their money back. The reputation of the college is done. Cambridge is a joke. Chico State is better than Cambridge. But the point is, this is not isolated. 30:54 Every company and every school has faced this in one level or another. With DEI, it is so easy to hire, but it's impossible to fire. Because what happens is in HR and basically in any kind of administrative office, You have an industry of cowards. You have to survive. And it's just not my problem. This guy's incompetent. This woman's incompetent. I ain't going to touch this. You know, I don't want to get smeared on Instagram. And that's what you had. But you had a lot of self-serving, white. 31:26 It's just the worst kind of people who used him and he used them. God bless him. He can have dinner at my place anytime. Just, you know. The magical minority. The fastest is up next. 32:01 Welcome back. A New Zealand politician joining a city council meeting straight from her bathroom with her underwear hanging out to dry and plain sight behind her. But she she didn't seem fazed. 32:12 Can you hear me? Yeah, you might want to move your camera. Why? Where is it? Because you can see your washing. 32:19 Oh, okay. 32:21 I'm just suggesting. But anyway, please. 32:25 Can you see me? Yes, we can. 32:28 Oh, that's great. Okay, you can see my washing, you can see me. It's no problem. 32:33 Greg, you talked a little bit about Second Day Underwear. 32:36 What did you think about this? Backdrops are everything. When I do a Zoom call, I put away all the nude self-portraits and my weightlifting trophies away. And it's also unfair to people. I remember a guy, a friend of mine, who rented an Airbnb and was doing a hit on Fox. 32:57 And it did not know. It was an Andy Warhol behind it. Yes. But the point is, you always get blamed for it. You didn't even know it was there. You didn't even know it was there. Lipstick going in a picture. I know. No, I'm defending you. No, I know. I'm defending you. 33:12 Thank you. Yes. That are you were you as offended? Thank you. Were you as offended by the underwear? 33:17 No, I just I love this woman's reaction. She's just like, well, can you see me? 33:21 Because those were underwear. 33:23 We're in the zoo. First of all, she knew she was in her bathroom, so she knows she's in the bathroom. Why is she in the bathroom? But she made sure she dressed appropriately, put some makeup on. But that's that's the best question. But I really like her reaction because everybody catastrophize everything. Everybody's so phony on social media. Is she on the toilet? Great question. That's Mondays. 33:45 We're going to interview her on Monday. I like that she's chill about this. 33:49 We're doing great if she flushed in between. 33:51 That's a bidet. Was she done wrong here? Were those people in the right? 33:58 No, I think I aspire to give as few F-U-C-K-S as she does. Because my first reaction was like... 34:08 I agree with Kellyanne. The way that she reacted when her colleagues told her that they could see her laundry hanging, she didn't care in the slightest. Didn't bother her. I would have died. I would have been like, oh, no, what's there? What's happening? 34:19 You know, does this ever happen? 34:22 No. Why do women air dry their underwear? So they don't shrink. 34:26 Oh, I saw her in an interview. She. 34:32 We're learning something. Do they shrink that much? 34:34 What's it turn like a regular thing into a G-string? You don't put them in towels and you're like, you're heavy jeans. 34:39 Why don't we go to fan mail? We need to talk about this. Fan mail Friday is up next. 35:01 All right, shut up. It's Fan Mail Friday. This is the easy question. 35:07 What was the first album you bought, Jillian? I'm going to guess it's Air Supply. 35:13 The first album that I ever bought with my own money was, I think it was Jagged Little Pill. 35:20 That makes so much sense. 35:21 But the first one anyone ever gave me was Dookie by Green Day. 35:25 Interesting. All right. 35:27 And it was Run DMC, King of Rock. That's not bad. Remember that one? 35:30 I do. 35:31 That's not bad. 35:32 How about you, Harold? It was the Jackson 5 Destiny. Blame it on the boogie and shake your butt down to the ground, that album. Nice, Killian. 35:40 Pink Floyd, Dark Side of the Moon, which stayed on Billboard for years and years. 35:44 Yeah, great. I'm going to go. I had to think about this. I think it was The Joker, Steve Miller. 35:49 And not a good album. 35:52 I like it much better. We have time for one more. What musical instruments annoy you the most? 36:00 Harold. 36:00 None. None? I can't think of an instrument that annoys me. There are ones that I like a little bit more. I like the bass, and I like the bass guitar, but there's no instrument that annoys me. I like the tambourine. I like it all. That's not a musical instrument. It is a musical instrument. If you go to Black Church, it's a tambourine. Tambourine. 36:17 Kellyanne. Accordion. 36:19 Accordion? Oh, I love the accordion. I love them. 36:22 You know, we have a huge polka audience, and they're going to be very... Send your letters to Kellyanne. 36:27 Love the accordion. 36:28 Jesse, steel drums. Yes! 36:31 Excellent. It's like whiny, man. Have you never been on vacation? 36:34 You know why steel drums suck? Why? Because Americans go to Jamaica and then they come back and they talk about how much they love steel drums. 36:42 And they have braids. Yes, the braids. With shells in them. Yes. 36:46 What about you? 36:48 Um, I think I like the way that the clarinet sounds, but I hate it because I was forced to take the clarinet for two years in junior high school and it's the seventh circle of hell. 36:59 I'm going to be upset when I say this, but I hate the sound of a church organ. Are you serious? Yeah, I think it just brings back memories. 37:06 Okay, just help me with the accordion. We need to talk. 37:10 The sound is so, it's so somber. It's just very somber. 37:14 Dirge-like. 37:15 Yeah. So it brings up bad memories? Yeah. Something happened to you? No, I was an altar boy. 37:20 Are you okay? Is there anything else you want to share? That's not funny. 37:42 All right, welcome back. It's time for one more thing. Greg, you're up first. I meant pipe organ. 37:46 All right, tonight. Oh, it's good. Kayleigh McEnany, Todd Pyro, Michael Malice, Jim Norton. That's a lineup. Let's do this. 37:54 Sexy elephant nude. All right, check out this amazing trunk. Oh. 38:02 He likes it wet and wild. That's the Budapest Zoo in Hungary, Harold. And it makes me hungry. Hungry for Harold. Put 160 degrees in Hungary and elephants being large mammals. They need some cold water over their sultry skin. Yeah, give it to me in the face. 38:21 There it is. There it is. You know, they can weigh up to 12,000 pounds and stand up to nine feet tall. And yet somehow they'll never be on the view. Anyway. 38:32 Jesse, I think we should just keep going with that. The feeding frenzy. 38:36 Here we go. 38:36 Oh, man. 38:38 Going to do something here? No. All right. There we go. Yeah, this is worth it. Better than a sexy elephant. Although this straw is the size of an elephant trunk. Look at this thing. It's got the circumference of a quarter. Will I suck the straw? You're about to find out. Dunkin' Donuts bringing back the 48-ounce ice beverage bucket. Look at this thing. 39:02 You stab it and you suck it. Okay. Oh, baby, I'm rocking. 39:10 Available for a limited time. 39:12 Yeah, when you die. 39:13 So is it good? It's really good. And you carry it around like this. 39:18 You're a real adult if that's how you live. 39:20 With my two-day-old underwear. Tonight, Jesuit's primetime. UFOs and sexy, hungry, hungry hippos. Tonight, primetime. Today in history. 39:32 224 years ago, 1782, George Washington creates the Purple Heart. It's the oldest military award still presented to American service members. About 1.89 million medals have been presented. It is largely presented for meritorious action in military conflict. The first three to get it were Revolutionary War, Elijah Churchill, William Brown, Daniel Bissell Jr., and John Kennedy is the only U.S. president to receive it. Oh, you know who else got it? The Cambridge professor. 39:59 That is. 40:00 Oh, man, we were going to end on a legit note. 40:03 Listen to The Five ad-free on Amazon Music with your Prime membership or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.